Passion

Ah…to live a life full of passion. Is this what we are dared to dream? Passion for taste, for touch, for the rush. Life is a gift eh? I read today this: “Yesterday is history, tomorrow is mystery, and today is a gift”. Do you rush through your day doing things that you think matter but really don’t? Or do you long to feel everything, see everything, do everything with gut wrenching, got to have it, experience it, want it, love it, taste it Passion?

Do we see the way we see after our life is behind us? Do we taste? Do we touch? Do we love? Do our souls really exert energy that lingers among the ones we loved? Do our life passions follow us into the next life? Do they go away completely? Do we remember what it felt like to love long after we are gone?

I want to taste everything, see everything, and feel everything now.

I want to Not. Miss. Anything.

I want a life filled with Passion. I don’t do well with neutral, with beige. My life is either on or it’s off. Hot or cold. Lukewarm seems meaningless to me. If I only have these options, I will have to do everything I can to live in a way which I feel as though I am not missing something, I have not forgotten anything. I want to look back and know that I did everything I could do, I gave it all I had, I reached out, I showed, I told, and I loved.

What a tragedy to have loved and lost, truly lost, and never be willing or able to love again. That may be more tragic than loss itself.

I used to have a Passion for food, a zest for life in the mountains, an appreciation for simple things like a fresh pot of coffee, clean cool sheets on my bed, watching the happiness in my dog as she sprints down Mount Sanitas. I felt as though I lost all of this in One. Single. Instant. Wiped clean, the world became a dull and dark place; which is an almost impossible way to describe it here. But even Boulder seemed covered with a cloud so thick that I could no longer see the outline of the foothills, the snowcaps, and the colors here.

As I watched the sunset behind the foothills tonight with Dawson I sat by the South Boulder Creek. I watched and I waited. It was cool out. There was a slight breeze. I thought a lot then I tried to not think so much. I laughed a few times just to myself. Then I even laughed a few times out loud. I thought of stories that make me laugh. Memories that I have. Sometimes we rush through life so fast we stop to forget where we came from. I’m not talking about dwelling on the past, but simply reflecting on where we have been. Then I remembered where I am now. Today. Reality.

Reality. Another great word but perhaps one that is hard to explain. Everyone has a different idea of reality and what reality means to them. Truth is, reality, our own realities exist mostly in our minds. Often times we create a reality in our mind that may not match the true of the reality around us, the one that exists in the everyday natural world. Some of us separate our work from our personal life and consider only one or the other ‘reality’. Some of us consider life at home with family ‘reality’ and others consider their careers ‘reality’. Then there are those who don’t necessarily work for a living but live by feeding a passion. Letting a passion be their life and their work, these people live the truth of who they are each and every day. To me, unless you are living your truth, you aren’t living in any sort of reality at all. Reality…what a crazy term…for who really knows what is ‘real’ and what is ‘not real’ in their lives?

Tomorrow my physical reality will be Vail. Vail has healed me before. There is something about movement, about snow, about air at high altitudes that often times tastes sweeter than air at lower elevations. Passion for pure thrill. Passion for natural beauty, where the mountains and the sky meet and the views are far and wide. To feel so small in such a great and spectacular open space renews my passion for nature. Vail reminds me that nature really is the art of god.

Henry David Thoreau once said: "Nature is full of genius, full of the divinity; so that not a snowflake escapes its fashioning hand."

‘Nature is full of genius.’ Genius. Brilliance. Light. Maybe nature is the only thing we all need. Nature very well may have the power and divinity to heal, the genius and brilliance to clear minds, and the light to remind us of our passions in this one life that we have to live.

Live this one life with Pure Passion. With Fire. With Light. If it’s the last thing you do, love passionately. Give it all you’ve got. For god’s sake, dive in head first. I haven’t been given another choice, another option. This is my only option. To live this one life filled with Passion.